Daylight

Lately, I'm alright.

And, lately, I'm not scared...

So, it's been an eternity since my last post. I know. I've been meaning to write something for a while, actually, but I just haven't had anything insightful to say. My thoughts have been muddled lately, and I suppose my writing has suffered as a result.

Anyway, today, I decided that enough was enough. I’ve been throwing around some ideas for a new short story, but I thought that blogging would be a bit easier for now. So, I sat down a little while ago, determined to write a new entry. I wanted to expound upon some deep, psychological issue--something dark, something complex, something different. Nothing came to mind. Longing for some sort of inspiration, I moved into the living room and gazed out the window for a while. I didn’t see anything particularly interesting or thought-provoking, save for a monstrous child in a snowsuit chasing his little brother around the yard. I thought about informing the local authorities, but, soon enough, the kids had disappeared around the back of their house, so I assumed I was too late to prevent any real damage, anyway.

After a few more minutes, I gave up and decided to empty the dishwasher, instead. That’s when everything just kind of clicked. I don’t know how to explain it, really, but perhaps you know what I mean, nonetheless. I was just kind of struck by how good life can be—by how many blessings I have. The timing of this little epiphany didn’t make a whole lot of sense… I mean, it’s not like emptying the dishwasher brought me any sort of great joy or that I saw a particularly shiny dish that brightened my day. Nothing had changed, really, except my outlook.

So, yes, this is going to be another sunny, “don’t get mad, get glad!” (err…that’s something else entirely, isn’t it?) entry. If you’ve had just about enough of those, then I suppose this is where you should stop reading.

It’s not that life isn’t bleak sometimes…or…even most of the time. Perhaps the amount of bad news even greatly surpasses the amount of good. But I’ve noticed just how powerful good things can be—even if (or perhaps especially if) they’re surrounded by the worst problems imaginable.

I’ll insert an unnecessary (and overly simplified) anecdote here to illustrate my point.

Long ago, when I was a child, I went into work with my mom. While she was busying herself with things around the office, I decided to explore the kitchen in the back of the building. I found a number of dirty dishes sitting by the sink, so I thought it would be appropriate to use the ancient, rusted dishwasher in order to tidy things up a bit. So, I loaded it up with dishes, squirted an entire bottle of detergent inside (wait…you mean that’s not what you’re supposed to do?), and pressed “START.” A few minutes passed (the calm before the storm, I suppose), and I was extremely pleased that I had been able to help out around the office. That’s when I heard an eerie rumbling coming from the dishwasher. Seconds later, bubbles began to erupt from all sides of the machine, and the rumbling turned into a sort of guttural shriek as the dishwasher slowly died in front of me. Meanwhile, the bubbles seemed to become sentient creatures that consumed everything in their paths. The kitchen had vanished, and all that remained was a soapy winter wonderland—not exactly what I had envisioned. At this point, my mom rushed into the kitchen (probably to verify for her co-workers whether or not the building was being bombed) and caught a glimpse of my handiwork. I’m fairly certain that she wasn’t pleased, and I’m fairly certain that I was punished; however, as we were cleaning up the soapy mess, my mom smiled at me and said, “Well, the kitchen needed a good cleaning, anyway.” And that’s all I remember. I don’t recall the harsh words or the whippings (kidding!) that undoubtedly followed because that one, little comment was enough to negate any ill feelings I had had.

So, maybe that story just illustrates the fact that I wasn’t the brightest youth in the world…but it’s just amazing to me how powerful something small—a simple smile from a friend or an encouraging e-mail, for example—can be. In the midst of so much darkness, the tiniest bit of joy can turn my entire day around. How incredible is that?

In short, I’ve concluded that my blog entries are becoming increasingly corny…but I don’t really mind. I need to let my inner optimist shine through more often, and I suppose this is a good place to do that. I doubt I’ve said anything that you haven’t heard before or that you haven’t thought of yourself…but, still, I’ve found that it’s nice to be reminded of these things.
So, that’s it, I suppose. Nothing overly complex or deep. I’ve just decided that I’m going to focus on the blessings in my life—even as I blow up dishwashers or clean up cat vomit or deal with the bleakness that life so often throws in our faces—because, at the end of the day, those blessings are what really matter.