So, like I said, today has been an awful day. But when I think about it--when I really think about it--I realize that I don't feel awful at all.
It's hard to describe. I'm so quick to dwell on the negative, and I worry about things all the time. I worry about my problems. I worry about my friends' problems. I worry about things that aren't even problems yet. Whenever I have an idle moment, I think about problems that should be fixed--problems that I tend to not even express--because some part of me just can't accept that things might actually going well. I excavate some deep source of dread from the back of my mind, and I let it consume me.
So...why, then, did I just say that I don't feel awful? It's not very complicated, actually. Despite everything I'm thinking--despite every problem that I feel bearing down on me--I know that it's all going to be okay. I know that everything is going to work out. And, at the end of the day, I know that I'm truly blessed. I'm blessed in so many ways that it's overwhelming to me--blessed with family, blessed with the most amazing friends. When I really sit down and think about it, how could I not be happy? Even as I write this (and as my Science and Religion textbook leers at me from just a few feet away), it's hard not to smile. It sounds corny and horribly cliche, but...life is good.
So...careless optimism again? Maybe. But it gets me through the day.
Be still, my soul: the Lord is on thy side.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
Bear patiently the cross of grief or pain.
Leave to thy God to order and provide;
In every change, He faithful will remain.
Be still, my soul: thy best, thy heavenly Friend
Through thorny ways leads to a joyful end.
7 comments:
This post really made me smile, Andrew. I love the corn, horribly cliche ending.
The italicized "amazing"...let's just say that it's funny how much meaning can be added to a word by simply changing the way the letters are slanted.
I'm enjoying this careless optimism, friend :)
Ha. "corny," of course.
SUCH a great post, Andrew. I love how your thoughts progress, and ultimately, you can be satisfied because the things that really count are in place. It makes me happy. :)
This made me genuinely happy because, in fact, life is good. I really lose sight of that sometimes, and it's such a dangerous habit to acquire (maybe more dangerous than smoking? :)) In all honesty, it's really important to be thankful for what one has, and I think that is where true happiness may lie, and your post reminded me of that. So, thank you.
Very well written.
Very good content.
Just overall excellent.
Truly uplifting.
Oh Andrew.
I really wish I had the outlook on life that you do.
It's seriously something to be admired.
Nice.
That's great that you can look at things that way! Like you said, I find myself always dwelling on problems. But most of the time, that's ALL I think about. Even though I KNOW that ultimately, life is good, and I am lucky, and things are okay, I refuse to acknowledge it. I just go on being unhappy about trivial things. Perhaps I can learn something!
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